I really feel like laughing is one of the best feelings in the world, and is also sometimes called “the best medicine”. It can solve problems, bring people together, brighten someone’s day, lighten the mood, release endorphins, alleviate stress…. Okay, real talk, I had no idea what to write about today, so I thought I’d share some jokes. It all sounded legit though, right?!
Jokes by two of my favourite comedians of all-time.
- “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” > Ellen DeGeneres
- “A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.” > Jerry Seinfeld
- “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.” > Ellen DeGeneres
- “A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” > Jerry Seinfeld
- “Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” > Ellen DeGeneres
- “I don’t want to hear the specials. If they’re so special, put ‘em on the menu.” > Jerry Seinfeld
- “You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that’s how it’s spelled.” > Ellen DeGeneres
- “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” > Jerry Seinfeld
- “I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.” > Ellen DeGeneres
- “Pay attention, don’t let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.” > Jerry Seinfeld