Why and When To Speak Up

So, there is a cute little boy who lives on my floor with his parents, or well, that’s what it seems like. Every so often, he comes out with an adult and plays in the hallway, very loudly might I add. Sounds kinda cute, right? Yes definitely cute, but sadly the noise can be a tiny bit bothersome at times. Gen and I never really did anything about this, because we figured it wasn’t big enough of a problem. Well, the other day, we were leaving our apartment, and saw that this little guy was out with his dad, and he had a super long toy left out in the middle of the hallway. I kinda just sighed and figured I would be able to get around it with Chandler. You know me, the “I wanna avoid conflict, all day, everyday” girl. Normally, this is Gen too, but all of a sudden, I hear from behind me, “You know that’s in the way, right?” 

Say wha?!

I was shocked, we never speak up, we never confront people, I mean there’s a reason why I call us Zen (other than because it’s our two names put together). But, there we were, confronting our neighbours. The boy’s dad immediately apologized and moved the toy. I could not have been more proud of my wonderful wife! One of the many reasons I love her, she looks out for me. We quickly told him it was no big deal, we just didn’t want to have to touch his things. Great ending to the situation! I know what you’re probably thinking, “It isn’t always that easy” or “It doesn’t always go that smoothly”, right? Trust me, I hear ya, I’m never able to figure these things out.

Yep, you called it, here comes another one of my “wannabe famous” advice posts! 🙂 Some quick answers to both the “why” and “when” questions of speaking up…

why when to speak up


Why and When It’s Important to Speak Up

Danger – Definitely most important, I think. If something’s going on that puts you or someone else in danger, speaking up is essential. Any way you can… whether it’s through talking, writing,  singing, etc, just get it out there. 

Gut – Do you just have a bad feeling? Is your gut telling you that something isn’t right? Take it from me, you should always listen to that feeling. 

You – Super important one, guys! Speak up for yourself, because you deserve it. Respect, honesty, kindness, whatever it is, you deserve it! 

Protect – If you’re like me, then speaking up for someone you care about might just be a tad bit easier than speaking up for yourself. Sad, but true. This is what happened in my story, Gen spoke up.

Self-confidence – Let me put it this way… Gen was the one who actually spoke up, yet even I was feeling super confident afterwards. Imagine how the person who actually did the speaking up would feel? 

Example – We all need a little inspiration sometimes. Whenever I need to bite the bullet and speak up about something, I have a certain person I try to channel, because I know they would do great in the situation. So, who knows, you might be an example for someone else to follow!

Random (yet relevant) fact… “the bystander effect” – 

“The bystander effect occurs when the presence of others discourages an individual from intervening in an emergency situation. “

-> psychologytoday.com

Let me explain… Often, people don’t speak up because they think someone else will do it, everyone thinks that, no one says anything, the bad situation continues, and yeah… not good.

Bigger – This one sometimes helps me. If I tell myself that the situation is bigger than just me and affects a lot of people, it somehow motivates me. Human rights? Equality? Sure, no problem, I’m your girl, but something personal to me? I clam right up! Am I the only one who’s like this?? 

Not golden – You ever hear that expression, “silence is not golden”? In some situations, if you just stay quiet,  it seems like you agree with the bad thing that’s going on. Not sure if this one is actually helpful, or if it just adds too much pressure? Please let me know if you figure it out!  🙂


Well, there’s my little post, trying to deal with a much bigger and broader issue. Hopefully some of it helped you or got you thinking! That’s what I’m here for 🙂 

Please go ahead and share your thoughts, questions, concerns in the comments below!

Yours truly,cropped-signature.jpg

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One thought on “Why and When To Speak Up

  1. Lee Griffin

    July 31, 2017 at 12:38pm

    I’m normally not the type to speak up, but when I do, I just drop the nice and quiet act, and give the ‘death glare’ which gets people’s attention. I find that when your small and look non-threatening, you can’t be too nice about it.
    Lee Griffin recently posted…Aviva Pure | AvivaMinerals Foundation

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 1, 2017 at 12:16am

      Ooh, I like the way you think! I will definitely try out that ‘death glare’ idea! Good job with that! Us small and non-threatening looking girls gotta stick together 🙂 Thanks for your comment, Lee! <3

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  2. Jessie

    July 31, 2017 at 1:10pm

    I definitely don’t speak up! That’s all my hubby! But way to go wifey! I’m glad it was a simple go around and the father understood!

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 1, 2017 at 12:12am

      Yes, it went so well, couldn’t be happier / prouder of the wifey! Glad your hubby takes care of that stuff too, lucky us! Thanks for stopping by, Jessie! <3

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  3. Heike

    July 31, 2017 at 2:00pm

    This is something where I absolutely have to work on, it all sounds so obvious but actually doing it is something else.. Thank you!

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 1, 2017 at 12:19am

      Totally in the same boat as you, much easier said than done. You know how they say… “those who can’t do, teach”? Well, I guess in my case, it’s “those who can’t do, blog” haha! Thanks for stopping by, Heike! <3

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  4. Pip

    July 31, 2017 at 3:34pm

    I believe it is important to speak up, but I’ve learnt to do this over a number of years. I was very shy when young so this was just not me. But now in my forties I realize that it’s just not a problem anymore. As long as your tactful, it’s good to do.

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 3, 2017 at 1:01am

      Omg, this comment was marked as spam! So weird!
      Yes, these skills come with age, I think. The more experience I get, the more confident I get, so therefore I feel like I can speak up more. You should be proud that you’ve come this far, good for you!
      Thanks so much for stopping by, Joanne! <3

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  5. Danielle

    August 2, 2017 at 11:34am

    I love the “bigger” situation. There are so many instances where I would normally just keep quiet, but then I remember that there may be other people facing whatever issue I am facing as well. This is such a good post with a lot of really good points.

    – Danielle | dragongirlblog.com

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 2, 2017 at 12:42pm

      Yep, the moment other people are involved, it somehow makes it a tiny bit less scary for me. I still may not always speak up in the end unfortunately, but at least it brings me closer. Thanks so much for stopping by, Danielle! 💞

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  6. Lianne

    August 2, 2017 at 8:53pm

    I’m a little bolder. ( Comes with age, I’ll soon be 54 Zoe. Can you believe it) I would have either gently pushed it aside with my foot, or said “Excuse me!” With a big smile of coarse.

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 3, 2017 at 12:54am

      Perfect response! I should learn from you 🙂 Oh Lianne, I miss you. How are things? <3

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      • Lianne

        August 9, 2017 at 6:33am

        I miss you more because I’m older! I’m so happy for these blogs. I get to learn how you are doing. Life is kinda rough. This fibromyalgia I have has gotten worse. I try to make plans to do something everyday that makes me happy. Take care sweetie 😃 Big hug.

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  7. Emily Terrell

    August 3, 2017 at 1:04am

    I definitely struggle with this issue. I’m a flight rather than fight person. I avoid conflicts as much as possible. And then when it hits the fan and I have no choice to stand up, I tend to defend my corner like a bear backed into a cave. So glad to have come across your post!

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 3, 2017 at 1:06am

      Yes, omigosh, you just explained my life! Thank you! I’m avoid, avoid, avoid at all costs. A bear backed into a corner is the perfect way to describe it. Your comments mean a lot, thank you, Emily! <3

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  8. Lalie

    August 7, 2017 at 12:34pm

    When I was in high school and younger I never spoke up for myself. Once I started college I feel like I had to because there are so many people and I think everyone voice is important. I’m still a very shy person but I don’t want one feel walked all over.

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 7, 2017 at 5:19pm

      Good for you!! I’m definitely still working on it lol :p
      Thanks for stopping by, Lalie! 💞

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  9. Jackie

    August 8, 2017 at 12:34pm

    Haha wonderful. I always speak up so maybe i should take a leaf out of your book and Zen out abit. But i agree sometimes there is a time and a place snd a circumstance that requires you too. And other times there isnt.

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    • Author

      Zoey Schvan

      August 8, 2017 at 12:50pm

      So great that you’re not afraid to speak up, I feel like I should learn from you. Being Zen is great, but there is a time and a place where it’s not necessary :p
      Thanks so much for stopping by, Jackie! 💗

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