7 Valentine’s Day Jokes!

It’s Valentine’s Day, folks! Woohoo! Spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to write about for this occasion, because well, you know me, the perfectionist. Did this post in collaboration with one of my favourite bloggers, Jessie Butler, who gives 7 tips for the perfect Valentine’s date.

Side note: Congrats to this amazing girl for officially becoming a published author!! 👏

After what was definitely too much thought, I finally put together 7 of my favourite Valentine’s Day jokes for you guys. I know this day can mean a lot of different things for different people, so my main goal was to have inclusive jokes… Valentine-inclusive jokes, if you will 🙂  Some are about the day itself, and some are about love in general. 

Whether you’re celebrating with a partner, with a friend, or merely just waiting for those half-priced chocolates on the 15th, I hope you enjoy these! 💕 



“Don’t talk to me about Valentine’s Day. At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.” – Joan Rivers

“Oh, here’s an idea: Let’s make pictures of our internal organ and give them to people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I have just learned that penguins are monogamous for life, which doesn’t really surprise me all that much because they all look exactly alike. Its not like they’re going to meet a better looking penguin someday.” – Ellen DeGeneres

I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” – Anonymous

“Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.” – David Letterman

“Let’s face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you’ll end up naked at the end of it.” – Jerry Seinfeld

What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. “Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big.” “That’s ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.” – Jerry Seinfeld 


Hope you all have a spectacular Valentine’s Day, my friends, whatever that might mean for you! 

P.S. Dont forget to check out Jessie’s post for her tips for the perfect Valentine’s date! 😎

Introduce your friends to ZoeyValuated :)
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One thought on “7 Valentine’s Day Jokes!

  1. […] Hey Nerdy Peeps! Happy Valentine’s Day! You probably thought I was going to bring you a post on my favorite books on love or what to get your book nerd for Valentine’s, but nope, I chose 7 tips for the best Valentine date! Also, you know I can’t do a holiday post without doing a collab with one of my fave bloggers Zoey! Check out her post on 7 Valentine’s Day Jokes! […]

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  2. Ramona Creel

    March 5, 2018 at 12:37pm

    Nice! Here’s a valentine’s dad joke for you — why should you never fall in love with a pastry chef?

    He’ll dessert you.

    🙂

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      Zoey Schvan

      March 5, 2018 at 1:17pm

      Hahah I love that! A good joke was exactly what I needed, thank you! :p
      Thanks for stopping by, Ramona! 💝

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